Thursday, February 02, 2006

Doctors and Nurses and Needles, Oh My!

So Tuesday was DOCTOR DAY in my houshold. I called in a sub and took both girls to the doctor for their checkups. I was feeling super smart and, yeah, a little smug about scheduling them back to back AND getting in a urine test for myself. Their appointments started at 9:30 and hey, how long could they take, right? Pee in a cup? Heck, I can do that blindfolded. (Yes, I tried. Don't ask.)

We're standing in line at Kaiser and Drama Queen is wrangling Missy Hoohaw over by the toys in the waiting area. The harried receptionist looks up and smiles and continues to frantically peck at her computer as the couple with the new baby grows increasingly impatient. 5 minutes roll by and there is now 7 people in line behind me. The receptionist has apologized 4 times for the delay and there are 3 men gathered around, trying to help her untangle the digital mess. 10 minutes and 3 more patients after that, they fix the problem and we get checked in, 10 minutes late for our appointment. Oh well.

We go in and DQ is handed a gown and asked to disrobe. She promply freaks at this request. "Uh-uh." she says flatly, handing the gown back to the nurse.
"Yes, dear." the nurse sets the gown on the bed and smiles at me.
I assure the nurse that I will get my oldest naked and gowned, but she's a little distracted by my toddler is throwing blocks across the room.
"Lively, isn't she?" she asks.
"Just wait until her vaccination." I deadpan.
The nurse doesn't laugh.

After talking DQ into undressing and helping her with the robe, I turn my attention to Missy, who is about to topple the trashcan. For the record, the smugness is gone. I get her coralled and playing nicely with blocks, while the doctor examines DQ and announces she needs 2 shots and oh yes, since she's started her cycle, a blood test. Oh the humanity. I ask the doctor if we can come back in few days for that particular party.

Missy's turn. As DQ dresses, the doctor watches Missy pick up the blocks and put them into the box. Every block put away is accompanied by enthusiastic clapping from Missy and I. The little darling put every block away. Then it was up on the table to disrobe and get poked at. The doctor wrestled with Missy and got her checked out, though she did lose her stethoscope twice to Missy's grabbing hands. Good times. Missy is in excellent health and very strong for her age. Very Strong.

So strong, in fact, she required me holding her upper body and arms, one nurse holding a leg and administering the injections (5 in all) and another nurse holding the second leg. It was fun. I don't think I've ever seen her quite that mad. Not scared, not hurting, but MAD. I might venture to say pissed off. Hey stick 5 needles in my leg and I might be a little upset too. She didn't cry until a bit after, she just screamed at the top of her lungs. Not as easy thing for a mother to endure.

Update: Daycare called today. Selby has been exposed to Hand Foot and Mouth disease and Roseola. hmmm.
I actually knew this a while ago, but today she needs to be picked up because she has a rash on her back and neck and has been miserable and sleepy all day. This ought to be good.

I'm not even going to get into the whole pee in a cup thing. Suffice it to say, I'm taking yet another round of antibiotics. I'm definitely counting some fingers and toes come July.


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