Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Sunny Side Up

I have discovered that contrary to my perception of myself as a fairly optimistic person, I have a negative outlook on life. Several things happened yesterday that brought this home.

I was talking to a colleague yesterday and all of a sudden, really heard myself. I realized how negative I sounded and was a little appalled. I started to pay attention to wha I was saying and to what others were saying and got even more appalled. Mostly I like saying appalled. Anyway.

I didn't like how I sounded. My husband and I talked about it last night, and he just assumed I was miserable from being pregnant in the heat. Yikes. Then, I spoke briefly with my ex's current girlfriend and she asked how my pregnancy was. I started to give my standard, smart ass answer, then stopped and said, "Great."

I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's weighing on me. I don't like negativity. And I really don't want to model that for Drama Queen and Missy Hoohaw. Yeah, it's hot and I'm not the most comfortable I've ever been. But this is the LAST time I'll be pregnant. There is so much to love about this time and I've wasted most of it complaining. I don't want to do that anymore.


Top 10 Things I love about Pregnancy!

10. Seeing my OB/GYN once a month. Seriously...I really like her and it's nice to chat briefly.

9. My friend Andrea and I are pregnant at the same time...AGAIN!

8. My husband rubs my feet voluntarily!

7. The sweet smile I get from total strangers when they see my belly.

6. Conversations with total strangers, while standing in line. I used to hate this, but you know, it passes the time!

5. Hearing the heartbeat.

4. The way Missy HooHaw lays her head on my belly and pats it.

3. People jump to get me things...even Drama Queen. (except chicken and bread...)

2. Having a totally taut belly. Sure, it's convex and not concave, but it's still tight as a drum, baby!

1. Feeling him squirm and wriggle. What a miracle.

I thought this would be a hard list to put together, but it was actually pretty easy. I even left some things off, like the anticipation of seeing his face and holding his tiny hands. Decorating the nursery. The pride my husband feels in passing on his family name and naming his son after his father. Counting the kicks and wriggles.

Okay, now I'm all bummed that this is the last one. Dang it! This positive thinking stuff is tricky.


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