Thursday, May 25, 2006

Timing is Everything

As an SDC teacher, I teach a lot of different subjects. One of those is 7th grade science. As any Californian teacher knows, this is the year of life science, which in turn means...the reproductive cycle. Oh yeah, baby. That's right.

So we've reached the end of the book and the last chapter is all about sex and reproduction and babies and birth. I am a living, breathing, science model. The kids listened to the chapter on birth and development today and had so many questions, we used most of the period for discussion. This is what I had fantasized teaching would be like. As I was standing there, answering questions about placenta and uterine cavities, the little sailor did a monster somersault that was FULLY visible to my horrified and delighted class.

"Was that the baby?!?" one young woman wanted to know.

I simply smiled and nodded

"Oh now, that has GOT to hurt!" said a young man.

"Not really. The kicks in the ribs hurt worse than that." I replied.

They continued to pepper me with questions about delivery and water breaking and epidurals. Sailor boy, bless him, kicked and jabbed like Billy Blanks on speed. Every time my belly jumped, they would oooh and aaah. We pulled up a picture of what a 32 week old fetus looked like and one of my brighter students realized that 9 months was 36 weeks. We then talked about how pregnancy is really 10 months, not nine and how, in four weeks, I could give birth at any time.

"What if you water breaks in class?" A asked.

"I guess I would have to call the office and get a ride from class. But that's not going to happen. We're done here in about four weeks anyway and my last pregnancy was 41 weeks long."

"41!" the girls squealed.

Heh heh heh. It's excellent birth control if you ask me. Maybe I'll let Mr. Clairol tape this birth...


Blogger meow said...

cool blog

12:01 AM  
Blogger maverick said...

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9:26 AM  
Anonymous Izzy said...

lol...great story!

But the best birth control if a birth video (sans epidural) is not available is a colicky baby video!

9:35 PM  

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