Thursday, May 04, 2006

Treading Water...sort of

I'm back from my off track time and I wish I could say that it was just what I needed to get some perspective. Unfortunately, that would be a lie.

I won't complain. I won't whine. I'm looking on the sunny side. Really.

So today, I'll blog as a mom. That's feeling like a pretty great job right now.

I was driving home Tuesday with Missy HooHaw and Drama Queen, when I realized I had forgotten to pick up a rotisserie chicken on my way to get MH. No big deal, right? WRONG!

1) nothing was thawed for an alternate dinner
2)pizza night was Monday
3) I had cleaned out the fridge and given leftovers to Angus, the canine garbage disposal.

So go into the store and get the chicken, you say. HAHAAHAHAHAHA. You, dear reader, have forgotten what it is to wrestle a 32 pound toddler into her car seat in the 7th month of pregnancy. Missy Hoo Haw HATES her car seat and is not above fighting dirty to avoid sitting in it. What to do?

I pulled into the parking lot of our hideously overpriced, but familiar neighborhood supermarket and turned to (11 year old, almost 12) Drama Queen. "How would you like to run an errand?"

"Sure," she said, "what do you want me to do?"

I handed her ten dollars and said, "Go in and buy a cooked chicken and a loaf of bread."

Obviously, in teen speak, this means "Run around naked, screaming the Star Spangled Banner at the top of your voice." She was horrified.

"I can't do that!" she exclaimed.

"Why not?"

"People are going to see some kid buying chicken and bread and think I'm an orphan or something!!! What if they call the cops?" I'll insert here that she wasn't joking...she really believed this was a possibility. The nick name making more sense? I thought so.

"Honey, no one is going to think you're an orphan. And as long as you PAY for the food, they won't call the cops. You can even get a candy bar with the change."

"Oh great!!! A kid buying chicken, bread and a CANDY BAR??????" They'll really think I"m an orphan! What parent lets their kid buy CANDY?!?!?!?!?"

No, I didn't laugh, gentle reader. I didn't strangle her. I bowed to her logic and called Mr. Clairol, who picked up the chicken and bread (and a candy bar, soda, chips and lunchmeat) on his way home. That night, I thought of all the times Jenny P and I rode our bikes to the Superway and bought candy with our allowances, never suspecting that all the people we passed were feeling sorry for those poor orphans.

Ah, Parenthood.


Blogger jennyonthespot said...


I nealry broke my chair as I fell off in hyserical laughter!

I was thinking of our trips to the Superway as I read that - then you wrote it... And DQ - dude. DUDE! How did you keep yourself from laughing?

You so have your hands full - but it's worth it for all these stories.

10:23 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

So funny!! She is hysterical - my kids would definitely whine about doing it - but, never, ever, in a million years...say something that classic!! I love it!

And - yep, my friend Annie and I used to ride our bikes up to Skagg's for cookie dough - we'd head to the deli, buy a coke and devour the cookie dough!

HAHAHA -- good times!!

8:43 PM  
Blogger jen said...

You poor orphan!!!! ;)

8:27 AM  

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