Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Yoga and the expectant mother

Did you know that your third eye is your pituitary gland, which is connected to the baby?

Yes, I know...I was surprised too.

I'm 8 months along and in an effort to eliminate a sore and achy back, I've purchased a yoga tape. Mir would be proud. I got it second hand and only paid $2.00 for it. It's been sitting on my desk for about a month, waiting for me to actually do it after the students leave.

Today, I attempted it for the first time and I've developed some helpful rules for the pregnant and yoga minded.

Top Ten Rules for Yoga and Pregnancy

10. ALWAYS pee before yoga.

9. Laughing is not the same as chanting.

8. That's okay, because chanting is not necessary to reap the benefits of yoga. Despite what the guru says.

7. Divine is not spelled Devine. I guess if I had my eyes closed like I was supposed to, I wouldn't have noticed. But why put it on the screen if I'm supposed to have my eyes closed? Is that where the third eye comes in?

6. Jeans are not yoga wear. Even the saggy, baggy maternity kind.

5. Wear slip on shoes, because tying sneakers is akin to very (crazy) advanced yoga in your third trimester.

4. Getting up off the floor is REALLY hard, no matter how easy the women on the tape make it look. I'm starting to suspect they are simply wearing pillows under those shirts.

3. Clear a very large space. This is important.

2. Yoga teachers love the word pelvis. Seriously.

1. Always pee before yoga. Yeah, I know that was number 10. It bears repeating.

Here's another factoid. Did you know that yoga builds your electro-magnetic field, which protects you and the baby during labor? Uh huh.

Also, Smarties are very Zen candy. I've been experimenting and they are chock full of Zenny goodness.

Closing thought. I will not chant anything I'm not sure of in translation. Call me paranoid.

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